17/05/20 22:07
Listening in a Time Such as This
During this time, many of us have been asked to assume roles that maybe are not familiar to us. For example, for the first part of this time, Nancy and I have had my daughter and my four grandchildren living with us. In addition to my son who already lives with us, this has certainly changed the dynamic of our household. I feel very comfortable in the role of grandfather, as I spend much time every summer with the grandchildren anyway. It has been somewhat challenging though, to find things to do with parks closed and other activities we would normally do on hold. The normal routine of parish life and other roles that I play has now been taken away as well. So, when a situation arises in our household during this time, where one of us might be feeling stressed or might need a change of pace, I have come to realize that relying on my gift of listening has been valuable.
Perhaps some of you have had to assume roles you are not familiar with. Parents are now, in addition to children’s teachers, being asked to homeschool. Adult children are separated from aging parents and there is a worry there as well. Caregiving from a distance, making sure relatives are OK and safe and healthy are all challenges we are facing. Some of us even now are working from home and trying to develop that new reality. These are all changes many of us have been going through. Perhaps God is asking us all to sharpen our listening skills. Perhaps to be present to our family, including our children and avoid the temptation to multi-task
But listening, whether through a video call, a traditional phone call, an email, or face-to-face always needs to occur with love. This is a gift we as followers of Christ can offer the people in our lives. Listening and being truly present to someone is a powerful and enduring gift. By doing this, no matter what turn this crisis takes, we can bring the sacred, the presence of God into the situation. All of us would admit that many aspects of this crisis are overwhelming and uncontrollable but listening with compassion allows us to bring the calm of Jesus’ message into the situation.
In the Gospel from a couple of Sundays ago, with the two disciples on the road to Emmaus, Jesus did not immediately identify Himself to them. He allowed them to tell Him how they were feeling and then He offered His words of comfort. Perhaps that is how we can listen in love this coming week as we all experience this time of crisis. So be present to one another, listen in love, and reflect on the love of Jesus for each of us.
16/05/20 20:45
There is a time…
By Deacon Jim
One of our most heard readings comes from the book of Ecclesiastes where the writer says there is an appointed time for everything under the heavens. Well, we can certainly say that we are all living through this appointed time and like many events in our lives, it will certainly be something that we will remember.
During a crisis such as this, the natural inclination for many of us is to ask for prayers and to offer to pray for others. That is certainly good, and I have been praying for all of you and those you love. But I have been asked by family and friends during this time, how I am weathering and whether or not my prayer life has been diminished or increased. In other words, is this testing my faith? While I have to admit, I have been meditating about the deeper meaning of this, I also have relied on my practical side. So, this time has also been one of renewal for me. I often say to myself and others that I don’t have time to pray as often or for as long as I’d like. So, one of the blessings for me during this time is that I have been able to take the time to see God working in my life. I look at it as developing a new habit because I simply have the time to do it. My hope is that these new prayer habits can translate into permanent habits once we transition back to some sense of normalcy.
A profound way of praying for me during this time has been sitting in silence; whether in the early morning hours without having to rush out the door or late at night when everything quiets down. This might be something for you to try as well. By doing this we are participating in the life of God and renewing our sense of purpose. Another benefit of the silence is that I am able to bring calm to others, especially those who I have been living with on a constant basis during this time.
So maybe this week, spend some time reflecting on whether or not prayer is different for you now. Also ask yourself in prayer, whether or not this would be a good time to add something to your prayer life, such as meditation, reading of Scripture, spiritual reading, a nightly examen, and so on.
03/02/20 16:30
You’re Too Old to be Ministering to Teens!
I remember when I turned forty years old. I was still a youth minister at the time and just a few months past from taking a group of teens to World Youth Day in Toronto. The kids wanted to wish me a happy birthday and so they went into the parish office and grabbed the lettering for the sign that was positioned on the road as people drove by the parish. On the sign, they spent a good portion of the day, spelling out the words: “Lordy, Lordy, Jim Minor’s Forty!” It was such an endearing thing that they did, and I was thinking to myself that day they must feel I am ancient. But knowing those teens, it wasn’t a comment on the fact that I was old, but that even though I was forty, I could still relate to them.
Well it is seventeen years later and while I am no longer the parish’s youth minister, I still spend a good portion of my week ministering to youth of all ages. So naturally, for some, youth and adult alike, it begs the question once again, “How can you still be relatable to them so many years later?” I mean, “Lordy, Lordy, I am fifty-seven!”
I can point to three things that I think still allow me to fit into their world and why I still have not lost my right to be heard by them. The first is wisdom. With age comes a certain amount of wisdom and because I am unlike other older figures in their lives, they really do take my advice and words into consideration. While they might not follow that advice, they do look at me and listen to what I have to say. There are certain experiences of teens now that are the same types of experiences I had as a young adult and as a teenager myself. For example, being able to fit in and be liked by your peers is something I struggled with and teenagers today still struggle with. As a matter of fact, one of the activities I do with our 8th graders on their “Freshman Survival” retreat is speak to them about my struggles with Freshman year. Inevitably the teens come back and tell me a few months later that I was spot on with many of my observations. With this wisdom, I am also very aware of not being preachy and letting them come to their own conclusions about growing up. But part of the wisdom that I can share with them, is that I will let my voice be heard when it is necessary.
The second is empathy. I never forget what it was like for me and my friends to navigate being a teenager. The teenage years weren’t so difficult for me, because I was confident in myself. I certainly had my share of challenges, but I knew myself and wasn’t afraid to stand up for what was right. But I also empathized with them. I saw, observed and never forgot what it was like for them. I still have those conversations and am not afraid to share a story or an experience with them. Empathy involves a lot of feelings and again those feelings can be universal. For example, even though I only had one girlfriend in high school, I remember what it was like wanting to spend every waking minute with her. This was before smart phones and computers where the only time you spent was either talking on the phone (which meant sitting in the kitchen for me) and seeing her face to face. Again, a common experience. So, I never forget those feelings. That’s empathy and the young people I minister to can see that when I tell my stories and experiences.
Finally, there is the power of prayer. I pray for these young people- everyday, as I have prayed for them for many years. They know it too, because I never fail to remember those who might be struggling. I never fail to mention about them taking care of one another, of helping a friend and watching out for those of them who are on the outside or different. So, my prayer is never one of just words. It’s action too.
I hope, by this article you can see that all of us can be relevant when it comes to young people. We can all impart wisdom, empathize with them and most importantly, pray for them. What this means many times is not just looking at them as the future of the Church (as if they will inherit it when we’re done with it) but that they are the Church- just as much part of it as you and me. So, go out there and be relevant. Young people need it now more than ever.
01/09/19 18:40
The last couple of weeks have brought an incredible amount of challenges within the parish and outside of the parish with people struggling with health issues. It seems that neither the young or the old are exempt from these challenges. To be honest, it has been a struggle for me personally to remain focused when day after day you hear about people encountering sadness and pain. There is always the challenge as a minister to not internalize these struggles and take them into ourselves. But when you go day after day without any good news, it is hard to not internalize the pain and sadness of the people in your ministry.
It is a stark reminder to me that as a minister it is essential that we take care of our own spiritual house. It’s so easy to internalize the struggles and then simply go home and have no energy left for exercise, for eating correctly, for family, and most importantly for personal prayer. All of those things are necessary to escape what can become a very difficult and stressful situation.